3 Easy Ways To Know If You Are Looking Or Lusting

Is looking the same as lusting?

BY CARL THOMASXXXCHURCH

You’d think that the answer to that question would be pretty obvious, but I believe more often than not, people get confused when it comes to these two topics (especially Christian people).Here’s the thing:You can lust after anything, not just the opposite sex.You can lust after money.You can lust after a carYou can lust after power.And the list goes on.The word lust simply means having a passionate or overmastering desire or craving for something. It’s just that, in our culture, we generally connect lust with “sexual lust.”Looking, however, is a bit different.I can look at something without having a strong desire for it.I can even admire something (like a car) without lusting after it.But because sexual matters are so sensitive, we often have a hard time trying to distinguish the difference between looking and lusting when it comes to those we’re attracted to.Your spouse probably would have no problem with you saying, “Hey, that new sports car our neighbor got is pretty great-looking.”However, try saying that same thing about your neighbor’s spouse.Wow! It’s off to couch city for the next few nights.But the truth is, looking and lusting are entirely different. The reason we have a hard time recognizing this fact is either because of “religious guilt” or insecurity.So, for those of you who are constantly asking yourselves, “Am I looking or lusting?” here are 3 ways you can tell:

1) You just can’t look enough.

Hey, she’s good-looking.I get it.You didn’t ask to see her; she just ended up crossing your path today.Looking at her and noticing that fact is not wrong. And it’s not lust.But how many times do you need to go back to the well for a drink?Chances are if your head keeps turning like it’s on a swivel, you’re doing more than just “looking.” You are looking for a reason.And often that reason is lust. You like what you see and you want to see more because there is some strong desire there.

2) You are “coveting” what you see.

Take my earlier example of the neighbor with the “new” good-looking spouse.Whether you end up on the couch or not, the truth is, you are not lusting after your neighbor’s spouse simply because you acknowledged that they have some visual appeal.However, if you follow up your look and unwelcomed observation with the thought, “Boy, I wouldn’t mind if that person was my spouse,” then there is a problem.You now have crossed the line.You are coveting.Coveting is an older term we find in the Bible a lot but basically means “to have a strong desire for.” So in this case, since your “strong desire” is for someone other than the person you’re committed to, then it’s safe to say you’ve wandered into the lust territory.------------------------------

Ignite LA Men's Conference from Every Man Ministries

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3) It makes your “special areas” all warm and tingly … and you want more.

Now, I know I may catch some heat for this one, but the truth is men are wired very differently than women and respond accordingly.While women visually process things, men are far more visual, and our biological responses to what we see are practically hard-wired.If a man sees a woman who’s very attractive (and especially dressed in a provocative nature), he is going to feel some sort of primal response. In other words, his brain is going to let him know it likes what it sees.Not much we can do about that.However, it doesn’t have to go any further than that. There are ways to keep that look from drifting into the lust arena (I wrote a post on that HERE).But, say you feel all warm and fuzzy and decide to let that look linger because you want more of that feeling. Or, after you are done looking, you keep recalling in your mind what you just witnessed and how great it made you feel.Well, now you officially crossed over into the lust area.You see, the first situation is a physical and biochemical response. But the continuation is an intentional decision to elicit sexual pleasure from what you’ve seen.And if what you’ve seen is not your spouse, then it’s time to have a talk with that accountability partner of yours.Hey, I understand. This topic is a little sensitive.Especially if you are talking about it with your spouse.But don’t confuse looking with lusting.Don’t let religious guilt or insecurities lead you to self-imposed and needless shame.But at the same time recognize that looking can lead to lusting very quickly if left unchecked.So be aware.Be intentional.Be accountable.And seriously, be honest enough to talk about this stuff.The above article written by Carl Thomas was originally published at XXXchurch.com and republished with permission. Ministry and website founder Craig Gross was a speaker at the Together LA 2015 conference.

Opioid Crisis: As Death Toll Rises the Church Offers Hope

The White House reported this week that the opioid crisis is worse than previously thought. New estimates from the White House Council of Economic Advisors show opioid-related fatalities have been underreported by 24 percent, raising the death toll to more than 40,000 in 2015 alone. By all accounts, the opioids crisis worsened in 2016, as synthetic opioids flooded the heroin market.

By ChurchLeaders.com (Staff)

It is not an overstatement to call this a crisis. In 2015 alone, drug overdoses killed more people than the entire Vietnam War. Drugs are now the leading cause of death among Americans under 50.  And opioid deaths outnumber car crashes and gun-related deaths.

SPIRITUAL CRISIS?

While the death toll has risen sharply these last few years, there is one aspect of the epidemic that hasn’t changed: Many believe this phenomenon is fueled by a spiritual crisis in America.Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, wrote in the Hill.com:

“There’s also a reason why this is all happening now. Long ago, people found purpose in their responsibilities. They lived for their spouses, to whom they sought to bring feelings of preciousness and love. They toiled for their children, whom they struggled not just to support, but to show constant affection, giving them a sense of self worth. People were also more spiritual, and in a treasured connection to God they found a sense of purpose that gave context to their existence. Often, they also fought for a cause, be it their communities, their countries, and their values. And it was in this fulfillment of a purpose that people got high. It was in causes that were larger than themselves that they found an escape from the ordinary and mundane.”

TRYING TO FILL A GOD-SHAPED HOLE

Opioids are just the latest substance Americans use to find happiness and joy apart from God. A 2015 study found 30 percent of Americans had an alcohol abuse disorder at some point in their lives.The crack epidemic of the mid-to-late 1980s hit a peak of two overdose deaths per 100,000.Then there are prescription medications for depression and anxiety. The United States leads the world in per capita consumption of these drugs, with roughly 11 percent of the population over the age of 12 using them.Damon Linker, writing for theweek.com, says opioids are the new trend, “What is clear is that the United States is filled with people pursuing various forms of relief from various forms of profound unhappiness, discontent, malaise, agitation, and emotional and/or physical pain.

A PLACE FOR MINISTRY

If the problem is indeed spiritual, churches are best equipped to help, and many are responding.Belmont-Watertown United Methodist Church in Belmont, Massachusetts has hosted 12-step recovery programs in the building’s basement for several years. Pastor Mike Clark told WBUR one of the first things he noticed was the number of people coming to church, but not for the service upstairs on Sunday. “I realized that people’s lives were being saved every day in this building. And that it was happening in the basement, it was happening outside our angle of vision—and that’s fine, it was happening anonymously—but that it was an amazing story of human transformation.”

READ: The Harvey Weinsteins and Broken Male Culture Can No Longer Hide

While many might see two different churches at the Belmont-Watertown United Methodist Church, pastor Mike Clark says they are more alike than many will admit. “In my experience, there are as many active alcoholics and addicts upstairs in churches as there are recovering alcoholics and addicts downstairs. But the ability to be honest about it and seek help unfortunately is a challenge for most people.”One of the programs that many churches are using is “Celebrate Recovery.” Launched in 1991 by John Baker, a recovering alcoholic, now a Saddleback minister, Celebrate Recovery uses biblical principles to help people overcome their hurtful habits—from codependency to anger and addiction. It’s solution is to fill the void with Jesus, not a substance or behavior.

RESPONDING TO THE CHURCH-STATE DIVIDE

Faith-based solutions come with the typical church-state tensions and plenty of secular groups looking to exploit the schism. But that hasn’t stopped some governments from looking for spiritual answers. One is Tennessee.In Tennessee, more than 50 percent of adults attend weekly religious services according to a 2014 Pew Research Center study. About two years ago, the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services launched a faith-based recovery network to spread the word about addiction, recovery and available services. It also encourages congregations to start their own support programs.Monty Burks, the director of the department’s faith-based initiatives and special projects, told the tennessean.com, “Historically, institutions of faith have been at the forefront of every single major issue that we’ve had in our country. The key component in recovery is faith. So why not try to educate them and let them harness that number and that power and that belief and helping people in recovery.

A PROBLEM THE CHURCH CANNOT IGNORE

The opioid epidemic is a huge problem in America and getting worse. Being a place of hope for those suffering and dying from it is a tall order for the church. But it is also a plight the church cannot ignore if it hopes to show God’s love for mankind. As Augustine pointed out “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.”If any one group of people should have reason to hope, it is the church. Coupled with our commission to introduce people to the source of that hope, we should have no qualms lending ourselves to fight in the battle against opioid addiction.The above article was originally published at churchleaders.com.

Broken City: Is There Hope For Los Angeles?

Create more bike lanes, make the streets safer, fix potholes, and oh, by the way, reduce poverty were the top recommendations from Southern California Public Radio listeners when asked what issues they wanted Eric Garcetti to tackle during his first term as Mayor of Los Angeles back in 2013.Other recommendations on issues listed among the Top 7 by KPCC in its #DearMayor initiative included, lower the cost of parking tickets, preserve the entertainment industry in L.A., keep Metro’s expansion on track, and don’t cut the arts programs in schools.But what if what is broken or needs fixing in Los Angeles goes beyond basic infrastructure issues? The answer to the following question may be obvious, but can a mayor really fix this city?Is it at all possible for a government official to address even more serious problems that seem to permeate this town?In his post, Homage To LA, City Of Broken Dreams, poet and author Boris Glikman, writes:

The smell hits you as soon as you step out of the air-conditioned airport. You feel the residue, the fallout of broken dreams hitting your palate. The charred remains of incinerated hopes mix with the omnipresent smog and invade every pore of your being…...Every delusion gets hunted down and taken care of in this town: the delusion that one is special and unique; the delusion that one has singular and extraordinary talents; the delusion that one is in possession of insights into life that the rest of the world lacks and that one is privy to truths that no one else can access; the delusion that one is destined for greatness; the delusion that one is a genius whom the world doesn’t appreciate; the delusion that one will find a soul mate meant just for them and whose love will save them…...the delusion that a lucky break will come to you in the end; the delusion that somewhere some person, angel or god is working on your behalf, trying to help you with your journey through life and is looking after you; the delusion that one is protected by fate and special luck from bad things happening to them; the delusion that there will come a day when one will begin to live happily ever after; the delusion that one will find meaning in one’s tribulations and that one’s struggles will be justified in retrospect; the delusion that it all will turn out well in the future…

You may want to read more of Glikman’s homage, but it’s pretty depressing, isn’t it?So, what can we make of L.A.? We know it was once a “promised land” of sorts for all sorts of people. And we know a lot of promises have not been delivered.

Broken city

Issues in Los Angeles are not just about bike paths and celebrity stars, either. Issues that should take priority are an elevated homeless population, an alarming violent crime rate, loneliness in a mobile, commuter town that’s wider than any canyon, a hub for sex trafficking, a haven for the addicted, and a depot for the discontent — see L.A. Riots, Occupy Wall Street/City Hall, Trump Protests, and protests in general of all varieties.According to the Los Angeles Police Department, the city is home to 45,000 gang members, organized into 450 gangs. Among them are the Crips and Bloods, which are both African American street gangs that originated in the South Los Angeles region, as stated in Wikipedia. Latino street gangs such as the Sureños, a Mexican American street gang, and Mara Salvatrucha, which has mainly members of Salvadoran descent, all originated in Los Angeles. This has led to the city being referred to as the "Gang Capital of America."With a census-estimated 2017 population of 4,042,000, it is the second-most populous city in the United States (after New York City) and the most populous city in the state of California, also as stated in Wikipedia. It is home to people from more than 140 countries speaking 224 different identified languages. Ethnic enclaves like Chinatown, Historic Filipinotown, Koreatown, Little Armenia, Little Ethiopia, Tehrangeles, Little Tokyo, Little Bangladesh and Thai Town provide examples of the polyglot character of Los Angeles.Challenges abound. All of us, together, need to ask and discuss...

Is there hope for Los Angeles?

In many cases, L.A. is still an amazing place where people do incredible things, including service for others. However, with a critical eye, it’s easy to see that many parts are broken. I’ve named a few social issues already.Together LA has made an effort to tell the stories of hope for the city, first, in hosting a conference a couple years ago, and secondly, on TogetherLA.net, since the new website's start in February.Next, we will try answering the question of whether there is hope for L.A. by way of a panel discussion with the theme you may have sensed already while reading this article — Broken City - Is there hope for Los Angeles?The panel is scheduled to take place at Metropolis in Santa Monica on Philosopher’s Cafe night on June 15 at 7:30 pm. Pastor Steve Snook of Metro Church will moderate the panel that will include urban leaders talking about the tough issues and the possible solutions. The event is free and everyone is invited.

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Let’s continue the discussion!>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<UPDATE: Since the publication of the article above, the 4-part series on the panel discussion and videotaped comments from the pastors has been published at TLA. The series links are below.4 Pastors Get Real About the City – Together LA Pop-Up Part 1 (Michael Mata)Urban Church Planter: First, What Does the City Need? Part 2 (Cedric Nelms)‘Beautiful’ Westside Striken with Spiritual Poverty a Unified Church Can Cure – Part 3 (Steve Snook)LA Pastors’ Bottom Line: We Want to Help the City That We Live In – FINAL (Brannin Pitre)

Prison Fellowship Leaders Past and Present: Advocates of Hope and Peace

There is a large army of Christians fighting to give hope through the gospel to those in and getting out of Los Angeles prisons.Earlier this week, we pointed to a Prison Fellowship article about a man whose life of gangs, drugs, and violence was transformed in the process of accepting Jesus while in prison.Among the responses Together LA received as the result of recommending the article was one from Marty Angelo, someone who was mentored by Chuck Colson, the founder of Prison Fellowship. Angelo, who leads an outreach ministry to prisons/jails, substance abuse recovery programs, and troubled celebrities, wanted to compliment the work of Together LA and share his own story about his relationship with Prison Fellowship.His own transformation is quite dramatic when you consider that Angelo describes himself as being transformed "from a left-wing, '60s, radical, liberal, drugged, hippie Democrat to an on-fire Christian Conservative.In a memorial tribute piece about Colson (1931-2012), “How Jesus Christ Used Charles W. ‘Chuck’ Colson to Inspire Me,” he writes:

Chuck Colson was once considered Richard Nixon’s “hatchet man” and his special legal counsel, so how in the world would someone like me ever get to meet a high-caliber politician like him... leave alone turn out to actually like the guy?Well, we met because we both got arrested and went to prison. In both of our lives we praised God for allowing that to happen. By experiencing our “prison moments” we came to understand that God had a much different purpose for our lives then we could ever dream possible.Colson taught me that we both experienced in our own ways the long arm of God. We learned first-hand that prison is what God uses as a common denominator breaking down social and political barriers proving He is God and not us. Chuck also taught me that self-righteousness/pride is what stood in the way of our understanding that Jesus Christ is in control... not us.Prison has the potential of bringing one to his or her knees crying out to God for help and that happened to both Chuck Colson and myself at just about the same time in history... over 30 years ago.

In another part of his Colson memorial tribute article, Angelo writes:

Who knows what God is going to do with us once He comes into our lives? One thing I know for sure is that I am grateful that Colson didn't turn his back on prisoners, ex-prisoners or their families. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for Chuck's commitment and drive to spread the message that Christ has a better way.Only Jesus Christ could have changed Chuck Colson’s heart as He did my own. We were both considered brothers and it took Jesus to miraculously make that happen.Chuck Colson never hid for one minute the Christ that lived in him. He became one of my first Christian role models from the moment I met him.Colson became known in our nation’s prisons... in prisoner lingo, as "the real deal.” He never forgot where he came from. It wasn’t the White House that changed Charles W. Colson... it was facing the Big House... pouring out his heart to Jesus Christ while sitting in his car in a driveway facing an unknown future in prison.

READ FULL POST HERE: “How Jesus Christ Used Charles W. ‘Chuck’ Colson to Inspire Me”[gallery type="slideshow" size="full" ids="2740,2741,2742"]I wanted to point out one more article in regards to Prison Fellowship because the community of Christians within prison ministry in Los Angeles is larger than we might expect. If you throw in addiction recovery ministries (because the two are often inter-related), then we can begin to realize that there’s a lot of inter-connectivity. We are all better together.World Magazine, in their current issue, features a piece on James Ackerman, who last year became the president and CEO of Prison Fellowship. World states that Ackerman was previously an executive at media companies including A&E Television Networks, British Sky Broadcasting, Documentary Channel, and Broadway Systems. World published edited excerpts of its Q&A in front of students at Patrick Henry College.

WORLD: And you have a lot of work, in part because of the theological background of U.S. prisons. Quakers and others thought prisoners in penitentiaries would sit and think about their crimes and become penitent. How has that worked out?ACKERMAN: Not well. The population in American prisons has ballooned from approximately 440,000 men and women in prison 40 years ago, to 2.2 million men and women in federal and state prisons today. We are warehousing men and women.WORLD: We have a higher percentage of people in prison than Russia or China has.ACKERMAN: The United States represents just under 5 percent of the world’s population, but we house 25 percent of the world’s incarcerated population.WORLD: I spent a night in a cell at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at the invitation of Warden Burl Cain, a member of your Prison Fellowship board. He encourages some of his inmates to get seminary degrees in prison and minister to others.ACKERMAN: It’s his vision to get seminary programs launched in prisons all over the country. Long-termers and lifers become advocates of hope and peace.

READ FULL WORLD MAGAZINE ARTICLE HERE: FROM HOLLYWOOD TO PRISON REFORMFinally, I’d like to add this from the Preface of the Life Recovery Bible:The Bible is the greatest book on recovery ever written. It its pages we see God set out a plan for the recovery of his broken people and creation. We meet numerous individuals whose hurting lives are restored through the wisdom and power of God. We meet the God who is waiting with arms outstretched for all of us to turn back to him, seek after his will, and recover the wonderful life he has for each of us…...Let us set out together on the journey toward healing and new found strength — not strength found within ourself, but strength found through trusting God and allowing him to direct our decisions and plans...